Celebration Over Comparison

“OMG I love that sweater!”

“You rocked that presentation!”

“Your insta feed is on fire!”


How do you react to compliments?  What is the first thing out of your mouth?

Here’s what I usually sound like…

“Oh I got this sweater on the Target clearance rack”

“Ugh no way I messed up so many times”

“Haha yea right?!”

Can you relate?

First of all, what is that???  Well for me, it is a programmed response I have had to any compliments, especially from other women stemming back to god knows when.  I know I am not alone in this because when I have given compliments to other women, I hear the same or worse responses.

What gives ladies?

Here’s my theory:

First, we are conditioned to appear humble, meak and undeserving. So to do that, we have to sidestep the compliment. We infiltrate an incoming good thing by diverting it with an explanation, snarky humor or excuse.  

Photo Credit: Brittany Graham Photography

Photo Credit: Brittany Graham Photography

Second, we don’t know how to respond because we don’t have good examples.  We need more women to mirror how to give and receive compliments in a better way.  And we are most definitely not giving the right kind of compliments.

Third, we are seriously lacking in the self love and self belief areas of our lives.  If someone compliments you on something you are actually good at, do you believe them?

Today is Galentine’s Day-one of my most favorite days of the year because it is allll about women celebrating other women. Although I believe in doing this every day, how about today we challenge ourselves to give and receive some real celebration.

Here’s the challenge:

  1. Give 3 genuine, heart felt celebratory compliments to 3 different women — someone you know, someone you admire online and one stranger.

  2. Accept a celebration or compliment from someone. Even if it is hard or uncomfortable-start with a thank you and allow it to absorb you.

We can redefine how we connect as women by being more intentional with how we give AND receive compliments. Get real with yourself when you are giving compliments to other women. What is your intention? Is it coming from a place of celebration or comparison? If you are on the receiving end, get real with yourself and ask why it is so hard to receive a compliment. Can you just allow yourself to accept it and begin to realize you are an AMAZING human and people just want to tell you that?

Here are a few ways we can transform and shift the way we give AND receive compliments to each other…

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Katie KurtzComment