When bath bombs aren’t enough…
You’ve had a rough day, week, hell a rough year. You’ve heard the metaphor at nauseum: you need to put your oxygen mask on before helping others. So you head to Target, buy yourself a face mask and lavender scented bath bomb, head to the wine aisle and top it off with a box of chocolate covered something.
You walk out taking a deep breath, proud of yourself that you are finally taking some time for self care. You get home, fill the bathtub, put on your fav sweats then snap that pic for the ‘gram so you can show you can #treatyoself by having a nice #selfcaresunday.
Bath is drawn, wine is poured, face mask is melting on your face. You take a deep breath and try to settle into your self care night. You feel the wave of relaxation for maybe a few hours but when you wake up the next day, you are back to feeling the burn. What gives?
Here’s why bath bombs won’t take away your stress away. First of all, don’t get me wrong-I believe that self care can take many forms. And second, I think there is some healing power in baths, essential oils, and especially chocolate. But I think those things are tools and a little something that extra that can support our self care. If we don’t get to the root of why we need those things, we will constantly boomerang back to where we started: feeling stressed, overwhelmed and burned out.
So let me ask you this friend: when’s the last time you got real with yourself? Like sat down without distractions and asked yourself some important questions like:
What is causing me stress right now?
What is getting in my way?
How can I really take care of myself?
There are some magical face mask products out there but lemme tell ya, there’s nothing that can take away the root cause of your stress and it sure ain’t happening in 15 minutes.
I don’t know anyone who wants to stay in this perpetual cycle of feeling burned out or the status quo of stress. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with spa days, girl’s night out or a Netflix and chill alone with your cuticle cutters. What I am getting at is that self care is more than this.
There are not enough salt scrubs in the world that can take away doubt, perfectionism, people pleasing, guilt, shame, and fear of failure - which are often the underlying perpetrators of stress and burn out. Trust me, I’ve tried. What we have to start acknowledging is that what we really need isn’t just self care, it’s soul care.
Our soul is our true authentic self, who we are underneath the masks, the fears and all the shoulds. Soul care is a radical act of self love that allows us to tend to who we are, nurture and nourish that beautiful being so we can live our lives the way we desire.
Soul care is a practice of coming home to yourself. Where self care focuses on feeling restored + recharged in order to prevent burnout or fatigue, soul care focuses on reigniting + coming alive to your authentic power. The kind of power that can help you cultivate the courage to quit the job, start the side hustle, go on the date, say hell yes (or hell no). That kind of power can help you create shift in your life that can redefine how you show up. And thus shift you away from the status quo (insert: stress, overwhelm, etc) and into a whole new season of your life.
We need both self care and soul care. Soul care goes hand in hand with self care in order for us to show up for ourselves again and again. But that isn’t something you can just pick up on your next Target run. It is something you need to consciously say yes to and then seek out experiences and create space for yourself to tend to. So friend, what will it take for you to say yes to YOU?
I’ve created a retreat weekend specially designed for your self care AND soul care. 3 days, 2 nights in an adorable cottage right on Lake Erie for you to disconnect from everything and reconnect with yourself. All the things you need to nourish your mind, body and soul (and yes, there will be face masks) while creating real connection with other women. This space is dedicated for you to come home to yourself.
Only a few spots are left for our fall retreat happening October 5-7 in Lakeside Ohio.