Current Status: Embracer of the Mess

How much effort are you putting into being yourself?

When I think back to the years I was consumed with doubt + striving for perfect, I can remember that it was a lot of work and frankly, super fucking exhausting. Yet I clinged tightly to the struggle because I was too afraid to see what would happened if I let go.

I remember distinctly the moment I began to shed the layers that covered my truth. I was 20, sitting on a balcony overlooking the Honolulu city scape with the blue shores straight ahead and Diamond Head just to my left. I had just moved to Hawaii to study at a new college. I was way out of my comfort zone and I was just being. I wasn't trying, I wasn't struggling, I just was. It was subtle yet pivotal. It was a distinct taste of freedom.

Connecting with our soul is a practice of letting in in order to let go. It is engaging in experiences that call on us to cultivate courage in order to build resilience. It is about writing permission slips over and over again until we show up unapologetically. It is about showing up, being seen + loving yourself unconditionally.

Over the weekend I was catching up with Steph Jagger jamming on the #greatbigjourney and she told me something that was one of those hand to cheek, a-ha, hell yes moments (not my first one with this wonder woman) In our conversation I had called myself a recovering perfectionist (aka my Virgo self who used to be confined by the grips of high achieving perfectionism and has since learned to surrender + embrace my humanness) Steph so gently asked me what if I switched up my language. She said when I identify myself like this it casts a shadow of who I was as if it were a problem when really I was just being human. Steph suggested instead to call myself something else, like embracer of messiness to honor myself + being able to move past the perfectionism to a better place.

That was one of those moments where things just clicked and I felt a real shift. I totally believe language creates our reality and it is especially important that we stay aware of the words we use towards ourselves so that they are aligned with who we are now and infused with self love. By calling myself a recovering perfectionist I was in turn not fully embracing my truth + new found ability to own my humanness. I got lost for a moment but was quickly able to find my way back to the path.

The old me would have been embarrassed or defensive but as soon as she said it I was all, "yessss, you're so right!" Because she was and it was just the soul tip I needed to come back to myself + my journey. It's all a practice.

Being ourselves is the greatest gift to the world. But often when doubt or fear creep in it has us apologizing for who you are {your thoughts, your body, your opinion, your laugh, your dance moves-whatever} Saying sorry for who we are keeps us small and dims our light.  

We need people in our lives who can be real with us and help stretch our souls in order to be the best version of ourselves. Hearing her say that to me from a place of honesty + heart is just what I needed. I definitely took the upgrade and I'm now embracing my new status: embracer of the mess.

I am a true believer in the power of coaching and walking my talk-that is why I enlist in working with coaches and mentors who continuously challenge me and inspire me to live my best life.  Living soul connected is unraveling the idea of who you SHOULD be and becoming who you truly are. It is about waking up, showing up and staying connected to that authentic truth within you so that you can live unapologetically yourself.  This isn't something you one day just accomplish. It's all messy because girl, life is messy-no way around that. Fear has gnarly ways of creeping up and triggering us through people, places and experience that bring up old stories.  The practice of soul connection is to become resident in those times and come back to that place within us where we can be in touch with our soul and rise above it.  

Soul connection is a practice, a great big journey and the moment you say {yes} to yourself, you are already on the path.  There are no perfect lines of paved roads on this path. There are only cracks, hills, chipped nail toenail polish and a glorious view with so many perfectly imperfect walking buddies to help you along the way. 

I've had some soul sisters reach out to me about my Great Big Journey experience with Steph Jagger and team. I am always happy to connect and if you are interested in joining the journey, click the link below to learn more! 

Katie KurtzComment