Feel ALL the Feels

If you know me or you’re new here (welcome BTW) there's something you should know:  I’m a big believer in keeping it real and owning my humanness. I know I could easily post and share only the glossy versions of life that hit that too good for a filer status. I am so not perfect at this as I love a good filter, but I actively choose to keep it real. Because real is all I got.

I believe that in order to be soul connected (aka live authentically) you have to embrace the entirety of who you are. The light, the dark, the messy and the beautiful. It’s about loving yourself and showing up fully YOU-which includes your spectrum of emotions, your story and your flawesomeness. I believe our experiences and the chips along our edge are what makes us unique and beautiful, not broken.

That’s worth repeating: you are not broken.

So for the sake of keeping it real, I gotta say, this week has been heavy AF. In order to honor the heavy I’ve been giving myself permission to feel all the feels. And not just allow them to be present but to feel them without judgment. In the past, when shadowy feelings would arise, I was quick to numb or cover them up out of fear: fear of being wrong, fear of being too much, fear of being broken. 

Practicing being aware and honoring myself, I’ve been taking space away from situations and people who are not serving my soul.

And that can be hella hard.

And also so liberating.

But here’s the thing with taking this kind of self love infused action: you’re going to make people feel uncomfortable.

Because somewhere along our human history we convinced ourselves that there are good emotions and bad emotions rather than just emotions. And then through that evolution we created these beliefs that when we are feeling sad, angry, anxious (aka our shadows)- we need to either 1) deny 2) don’t talk about it or 3) cover it up.  Oh sweet humanity, how we forget that we don't have to make it that hard and that feeling is part of our human experience!

But what is critical to remember is this: it’s not your problem to make those people feel better.

We all have our own response-ability when it comes to our wide range of emotions. And in any given day, we are going to feel a lot of different feelings. Because that's how we humans roll!  We are allowed to feel those feelings when they arise and for however long we need to feel them.

{Disclaimer: I am discussing this in the context of acknowledging and honoring our everyday feelings. I want to be clear that this isn't pertaining to trauma or feeling so deeply that it may manifest into an unhealthy or unsafe pattern}

Let me offer an example: This week my sweet dog unexpectedly became sick and had to be put down on the same day of the Las Vegas mass shooting and the anniversary of my aunt's death. Holy emotions! Needless to say, it's been a week. I was feeling a lot of feelings and knew that in order to feel and heal, I needed space to process, reflect and heal.

During a conversation the day after, a person I know noticed by choice of taking space and when she interacted with me, it was clear she was uncomfortable with my status.  In this moment, rather than apologizing for her apparent discomfort, I activated my response ability and declared my need for space and self care.  I wasn't rude or disrespectful, I just clearly stated this non-negotiable and then chose to leave the situation.

I can’t control how others feel and neither can you. I know what it's like to get consumed with wanting to make sure others are feeling okay that I lose sight of my own feelings and thus neglect my self care.  This is how I spent years giving my power away until I felt like I had none left.   When we are on this path of soul connection, people are going to notice our shifts. And as we continue to evolve and show up authentically, we are going to make people feel uncomfortable.

And that's okay. 

Because the truth is, you don't need their approval. You don't need to please everyone. You don't need their permission.  You don't need them to feel good about you.  All you need is within you.  Choosing yourself and doing you is not selfish, it is a radical act of self love.  This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:

Perhaps we should love ourselves so fiercely that when others see us they know exactly how it should be done.
— Rudy Francisco

When you find yourself feeling the shadows, remember to ask yourself this: what do I really need right now?  And then activate your personal power by choosing to get your needs met.  

Feeling all the feels is one of the most vulnerable and courageously human things we can do.  When we feel it and heal it, we are set free from the attachment and are able to create space to expand in our own soul connect evolution.

Feel all the feels, babe. Your truth will set you free.

Katie KurtzComment